Sunday, October 9, 2011

Running - After All, It is in the Blog Title

The 2011 Chicago Marathon was today. Tomorrow will mark 1 year since the 2010 Chicago Marathon. A lot of things were going through my mind this morning.

I can't believe it's been a year, and I have barely started running again. My original plan was to take a month or two off and then pick up where I left off. Boy, is that not the way it's gone.

I started running again semi-consistently...a least twice a week. I restarted about 3 weeks ago. My first run back was amazing. The other day I remembered how much I loved running. Working out in my living room is just not the same. It's not actual ME time. When I'm running it's just the road and me. I don't have to worry about the dogs, John, work, errands, etc. I just have to worry about putting one foot in front of the other. I was so rejuvenated...I began to think about running the Germantown Half Marathon in March.

All of those positive thoughts came to a screeching halt today. I decided to go running to celebrate all those running the marathon today. I made it about half a mile and began to question why I was even running. The word failure kept playing through my mind. I felt like a failure for only running 18 of the 26.2 miles last year. I felt like a failure for deciding not to try again at the St. Jude Marathon 2 months later. I felt like a failure for not starting back to my running. I felt like a failure by going out to run 3 miles while wearing my Chicago Marathon shire. I felt like a failure for making my friends and family spend their time and money to come to Chicago to not see me cross the finish line. I couldn't shake these thoughts...I walked the half mile back to my house crying the whole way.

I'm going to try to go for a run tomorrow before work. Let's hope these negative thoughts leave my head.

1 comment:

  1. You are not a failure in any way! You do so many great things. Just because you didn't finish one race doesn't mean you failed. Sometimes it's more about the journey than the finish line. You will get to exactly where you are supposed to be.

    I have had a little set back in my training for the half-marathon, but I plan to get back on track this weekend.

    Keep your chin up!